Flashback V. 1

22nd June 2008

Overwhelmed, that’s what I feel these days. I’m writing while sitting on electronic-hydraulic designed bed which I suppose to just lay on it, but I’m just so desired to compose few lines, telling how excited I’m being myself now, climax so far after 27years.

Things happen for reason. If I need to pass through tough journey life to grasp happiness, it must be a reason why I need to. Sometimes reason appears transparent, sometimes it’s hiding with few clues or just permanently hiding, but at the end, the answer will sure emboss. Now I’m at the phase of reviewing my old times, recall my past pathways, capturing back all of my sweet bitter memories. Past, now, then...relates.

I was born as a girl. Grown up behaves half like a boy, might influence by brothers and their friends who I play often compare to sisters or maybe I was biologically born to be a tough person, a leader to my own self. I think so. I was independent, stone head, decisive, risky, out-going but a bit shame to unknown, low self-esteem and was not a making-friend starter even until now I am. Being youth was so exciting. I went to a girl school under special intake as offered by government based on primary school result and initially stayed in hostel. Obviously, this was the place I first learn about being independence and this was where I started developing my inner self.

Attended girl school, we were thought the same as in boy school. I guess. And what boys in boy school do, we in girl school basically will do the same. We cheated on warden’s signature for outing, we “fly” (fly – sneak out) sometimes when get no permission, we smuggled illegal things...rules...We did break rules. I don’t know how students behave these days, but yes, that was what I and few friends did. As long we don’t get caught, it was really fun when everything was smoothly going on. Never forget, I remember fresh a day outing with my best friend, effa, walking all the way in the drizzling rain just to buy fireworks downtown. Of course, fireworks are forbidden item in school, common sense. As we reached downtown, rain downpour heavily and we were stranded until evening before it slowed. That time, BP had severe drainage problem and flash flood was often happened after long heavy rain. I and effa had no choice else than walking in the rain again and worst in flood, else we will be in trouble if not reachable by 7pm. Halfway right at the corner of petrol station, exactly at traffic light post, I was stunned. Effa felt into drain, town drain, deep about my height that time. We thank god, she was actually step one full leg into drain and could retain her body from drowning. But it was turned funny. She made herself stand up covered half with black stain. No more white coloured shoes. Yes we were panic, but I can clearly recall we showed no expression along our way counter cross the main road until we get back to school but to be frank, I laughed inside waiting for the right time to blast, I know she was too. Until now, not so sure, no one else among our friends knows. Top secret as we agreed. That was crazy, I could drown if she was me but now I know why it happens to her. We share sweet memories, keep each secret and gone through sorrows together. Our relationship strengthens then and remains best friend until now.

To be continued.