Menggapai Bintang

Aku tau

Aku ni ibarat sebutir pasir di tanah gersang

Dan aku tau, aku tak semestinya terbiar

Cuma aku perlu berusaha

Untuk dibawa jauh

Maka jangan perlekehkan aku

Sementelah rupa aku yang amat biasa ini

Juga jangan senyum sinis kearah aku

Ketika aku bertangan kosong papa kedana

Sbb aku tetap akan pergi

Menggapai bintang yang aku idamkan

Impian aku

Love to Death

These turkey couple walking so romantic from my neighbour house to my mum's yard. When I tried to get close, they wont run, there were just moving in poise, spinning their body side by side. Sometimes they make sound, like a music with decline tone. Initially loud then slowly turn down with a unique rythm. Interesting. But, what attract me most was their passion towards each other. They shows mutual love. They were. They still are i guess..

Then tomorrow was fatal for a dog. Second day at home, my brother make jokes telling that my mum now keeping dogs at home since we could see couple of dogs come and go in my mum's land since we came back. The last day at home, a day after the turkeys show off, I saw a dog, having a good time laying underneath hanging cloth. I shouted and spell some bad words at him so they would walk away. Seconds later, that dog died. I felt guilty since i was the one who communicate right before he was hit by a car, exactly in front of the entrance.

I learn something here. Sometimes mulut aku ni mmg masin.

So aku akan kurangkan bercakap perkara-perkara tak baik

And I really get a lesson here.

Jodoh, maut ditangan tuhan.

The truth of life - REVEALED

This age

Tho not too long

I fold thick life plots

Where would i unfold it one day

Spell the story to my kids or whoever

Not much, hope they may still learn from the lesson

Today

Son of Abdullah is said having a baby

Deliver by an old close-friend of mine

The baby who carry a story of all of us

Shower him with love

He carry no mistake

I forget all

I am happy

Fair enuf

-Allah itu MAHA adil-

Always good

It's always good to dream

It's always good to visualize

It's always good to aim high

It's always good to look forward

It's always good to be challenged

It's always good to explore

It's always good to try

Lets always be inspired

For the greatest achievements

Wish

If life can circulate in order how blood circulation works systematically in one's normal healthy body, life will be running incredibly smooth. That is just a simple theorem. But, it's for sure unreal, there's no way to live an immaculate life, it isn't normal. Life consists spices, variety of tastes that everyone has to taste regardless those things are something we would wish nor something that we forcely trying to escape. Frankly, I'm not living a dream life. Far way not. Some says, we will not always get what we wanted, but we will get something otherwise. It's truly apply and ramp up my flow of life, i could realize that. Then from there I learn slowly to how to be grateful at least for every breath I inhale. Spirit encouraged from the feeling of gratitudeness and an appreciation of the gifts of HIS generousity, move me forward, not to just wish an empty dream, but endeavour me efforts to achieve the wishes that I dream to be real. It means I may complete all the tastes to pleasure a great appreciation towards what I work on. I wish, hope, work, pray and achieve. Compose togetther is all the six senses. 5 plus an X factor. Life then will be truly a bliss. Each pain will dismiss or just sway without a farewell. I truly believe....at the end...life will be happy. I dont need a perfect life, i just wish to be "COMPLETE".

To those I hurt, I'm sorry.

To those who hurt me..It's not ok, but i'll be fine.

That is life.

Si sepi yang kosong mencari HIKMAH

Kenapa aku dilahirkan malam, dikala gelap

Mungkin membiasakan aku dalam kegelapan supaya aku berani menghadapi dugaan pahit

Mungkin buat aku lebih gigih mengharungi hidup dan meninggalkan kekecewaan

Mungkin menjadikan aku lebih bersedia menghadapi rintangan mendatang tanpa takut

Kenapa aku tak dilahirkan kaya raya

Mungkin jikalau aku kaya, aku jadi orang yang terlalu bergantung dan malas berusaha

Mungkin aku akan tergolong dikalangan orang yang riak dan membangga-bangga

Mungkin aku sombong langsung tidak mahu mendekati orang2 miskin sedangka taraf mereka sama dgn aku disisi yang MAHA ESA

Mungkin aku akan alpa dengan kemewahan yang menyesatkan aku jauh dari landasan

Mungkin aku akan terlalu membazir-bazir dan tidak bersyukur hingga lupa ade ramai manusia yang tak makan berhari-hari

Kenapa aku tidak cantik jelita rupawan (mcm angelina jolie for e.g.)

Mungkin aku akan menggunakan kecantikan aku pda jalan yang mungkar

Mungkin aku akan jadi insan yang bermegah-megah dan menunjuk-nunjuk dgn keindahan sementara

Mungkin aku akan jadi insan penggoda lelaki-lelaki bernafsu yang memudaratkan aku diakhirnya

Maka selamatlah aku

Banyak lagi persoalan "KENAPA"

Kini aku yakin akan jawapannye

Disimpulkan dengan kata "HIKMAH"

Dengan Hikmah-Nya, aku menyusuri hidup ni dengan keyakinan

Bimbinglah aku terus.

Brilliant Malay-Chinese Poem

Smart, was it dedicated directly to the staff or indirectly to those who realized the existence, I dont know. But i found it so tremendous in conveying spontaneous so-mean-message. Look at this..

This paper was posted on the wall, a spare part retail shop i visited regular. Maybe i was busy choosing all right items i should buy or chatting with the tokey who make fun like we are good friends since born. Nice talking.

I was pretty surprised why i didnt realize earlier, this is a piece of motivation, a good principle which has an intensity to driven a desire to be a successful person. Interesting! Inspiring to fight in a battle, life competitions.

Like "nyamuk" so much, and cannot tahan "baik mati", the best!! Hehehehe

Health is Wealth

After paying big cash, someone remind me again today. Health is wealth. Yes, a must reminder, for someone who always take health for granted.

I can feel that time is speed chasing me, not the opposite way. Eventually nerve system got shaky, stress up my vein in which I think sign me, trigger me, aware me to get certain things done or at least I got all the list written somewhere so I will not miss out any single thing before the "time" touch the end line, a pull stop. Probably, I need to appoint someone either by direct assignation or do indirect will. I guess I need help, I don’t think I can do it all alone if time extremely cruel pinching me off. This is just a preparation, I have faith, I want to strongly believe that my chance to recover is still highly exist and at least my condition is improving so I’ll get better, and live prosperous longer. That's why now I don’t mind paying until the last cents in my pocket if that's the price I need to pay for my breath. There's lot of things I haven't achieve, there's so much mistakes I shall ask for forgiveness, there's uncountable sins I need to neutralize (not sure whether it is possible even I live in 100yrs, hopefully I can closer the gap), can't figure out more details, but my head busy sounding random noise telling I got plenty to work out. Otherwise if Allah says my time is up even all efforts have been released, I’ll "redha" and please do the others that care and love. HE the almighty, Yang Maha Adil, Yang Maha Mengetahui absolutely has HIS right to take me up. I am HIS very poor slave, but I know HE loves everyone HE created, DIA Maha Penyayang. That's the reason I don't blame anyone, anything or question why it happens to me. Simple thought, looking thoroughly at myself, the longer I live, the much I tend to add the ready thick sins.

Every single seconds passing without skipping thinking about die. I read or heard (doesn’t matter, both I confirm from reliable sources) Ustaz says that “mengingati mati itu satu pahala, dan digalakkan”. The reason is, people will not too obsess or being liberal of living in this space, duniawi which many forget that it is just for temporary. I do forget, always. So that’s good. I take it positive, so that I will try not to drift too way far from the right track. Someone generous is welcome to guide me, practically.

Else than my family, those who I commit debt, owe genuine in person sorry wishes or anything I shall pay in whatever terms, please confront me. Before it’s too late, let me settle, worst case I’ll put in a list (I will create one) so I can assign someone to sort it out. And before it’s too late, I seek forgiveness for all that I have done, and whichever you may not exactly recall or uncertain on what and how much I owe, I seek your kindness, minta dihalalkan. Or if not, you may contact the person I assigned, most probably someone from my family members for the settlement.

To my best friends, come on, aku write this bukan nak buat korang risau. But it is just a preparation, actually everyone should do this. I may physically or internally badly ill, but remember, we are rationally aware that everyone that lives, are never certain of when is our departure. We might see someone healthy and active today, but it is not impossible that we might not see that person anymore tomorrow. The person could prompt to fatal road accident, environmental disaster or even as simple as having a tracheal choke when eating. I thank god, at now I am screening myself so I more realize who actually I am, my character, behaviour, and the upside down inconsistent trends. Teruk sangat aku ni. Sunggoh.

Aku insan yang hina disisi-NYA.

I am sorry

Tomorrow is said better than today. Hopefully it certainly is. I pray.

Sunday is almost come to its ends. And my eyes refuse to rule its role this time, sunday better be longer. Its like a typhoon inside me certain time today. Once it comes, it really struck my whole body until I shake and vibrate no pattern. Thank god I can stay my poise by stabilizing my center point, hold on to the 9.81m/s gravity. I had loss today, but I do have experiences that tells me not to regret, again. I am sorry I made someone unhappy today but please, look at it in a positive way and I meant it for your own good, my own good too, in long term. Optimist, setiap yang berlaku ade HIKMAH, and things happen for reason. Trust me, I know how deep you drill your heart to get into that level, appreciate that. But I just could not help myself get rid of my fear and those my weaknesses, it's kinda tough for me to blow it away. I truely understand how tidious it is for you to tolerate (so am i to myself). Perhaps, it is just not the right time. Yet?

I adore too ordinary you, that's extra ordinary in my perspective
But I better walk alone
I see myself
Move on.

Strangers, people, friends & me.

What kind of person you are? Are you one of a kind who speak direct once you open up your mouth while most of the time you just keep down to earth prefer listening and observing people around you? Most of the time I think I am categorized in this kind. But it can be totally out of range when I am with superclose friends, I mean those who I often hangout outside my work boundaries.

I knew a girl who try to speak blunt on her blog, talking everyhing that she wasn't satisfy with, regardless her fault or else's fault or anything whenever she looks, assume or feels not great according to her taste and doesn't suit with her interests. But when it comes to real situation, when she is needed to face it by the opponents she had commented or complaints, she freak out, refuse to stand brave. Maybe she has reason, I better assume that no? Positive thinking? I however act otherwise. I don't care about how these kind of person who never even generally fast scan me in person think or commented about me. First off all, he/she doesn't do any homework, they have no ideas and all that they say surely said without any concrete evidence. So why bother?? I am sure i'll be an idiot if I do, don't I? And to explain is just a waste of time(for me). So the morale is...ignore any comments about yourself from big mouth who you know that they are just talking craps. They are just someone who might envy with you. Just ignore. As long it's not harm, let he/she be. They are just foolish themselves. Right?? Move to next.

Do you ever have a friend who tends to backstab you when you do so much favor in the relationship? Or perhaps a friend who totally push you aside when she/he achieve her/his purpose? or someone who just look after you when she/he needs someone to be with while having problems, sad, sort of? I would not say that I am a goddess good friend. Really I am far not. So I do admit that I might be one of this kind but truely I never meant it (for those who think that I am) and seriously I am asking for appologize. Sincerely. Okay, my words are, this kind of person is everywhere. Very common in now community. Furthermore if we live in the city where everyone is competing each other to secure life. It has to be selfish, sometimes. It is very important to have mutual understanding in between friends. Our needs need to be told directly in the manner than no one get hurts or twisted if possible when we have decided to say about true facts. The more we hide, the more our friends felt suspicious where at last they might speculate things wrongly. That time, we are not to blame them. I am so grateful I have friends that understand me well enough and even we are not satisfied at certain things, we were able to argue, sometime we really had fight, but rationally without making enemy so far. We manage it as an adult, we do like we are siblings. And for me, they are my siblings. They are one of the best things happen in my life. Ok. Back to the square, what shall we do if we do have this kind of friends. I mean the take-advantage friends. Well, I think I did have this kind quite sometime ago. As I do avoid things before it becomes bigger, I normally would just imply either one option. Either I speak right to her/his face directly and give her/him chance to improve/stop taking advantage on me, or I just leave that person without any words. I can simply walk away with no mercy, no compromise if it is a big mistake. Again, talk much is just a waste of worth time. Not to forget, sometimes I am very, superlazy of talking, passive, especially for things that convey me no benefits. There were people who think I do reverse psychology, but to be faithfull, I don't. But of course I know sometime I drove people in such a way. My fault??

Whatever it is, shower the friendship/relationship with honesty, faith, dignity mutually. If you mean to ask for help from your friends, no matter what she/he is your very best friend, do not burdenly hope that she/he can make it to help you and once he/she really can't make it for you, never blame the string. She/he maybe has something more important to accomodate. Please don't slip with own assumption that he/she refuse to help when you're in trouble. I do understand and I did feel unregistered sometime ago when my friends could not give me their hands when I needed badly, but soon I revert positively they had their own activities which was more important than my things. Morale, dont be too please, rely on yourself or find other alternatives to survive. Finding solution is better than keep yourself mourning.

As to wrap up, for those who care, for those who love, for those who be so understanding, and for those who accept me as I am, I am so much honoured and feel so blessed to have you as one of my friend. Don't worry, if you have anger, unsatisfy just point it out directly. Exception to my best friends (doesn't mean aku grant korang buat aku melampau la oit), I do appreciate if u can propose it diplomatically and so do i. I am rational. I am. InsyaAllah.

To best friends:

Aku bosan hari ni. Entah apa aku merepek. Hahahaha. Sayang korang! So love!

Oil Price

Try frozen fuel, it will never get cold. HOT!!HOT!!HOT!!

I was surprised, everyone, when heard news immediately after Prime Minister announce fuel price raise to about 40%. First thought came maybe its just a rumour to create chaos among us in workplace. Even, few days back, PM just announce that fuel at borders is not permitted to sell to foreigners and just in August the oil price is likely to be revised according to oil price fluctuations. So, obviously quantum of increasing sudden to 78cents burden most of motorists especially who do regular travelling.

I dont really understand why we need to absorb the impact of market oil price. We are a producer, and believe that even the market fluctuates, the operational cost of producing oil remain the same. So basically we are selling at higher price for our export that earn Malaysia more profit in return. Supposedly if this is the scenario, fuel subsidy is not an issue.

Again, PM says that the oil price in Malaysia is still the lowest in the region. Such 78cent increase to RM2.70 is said still very low compare to other countries. Why comparing? If we are earning like what those people in US, Japan, UK earns, this increase might can be justify. But based on our average income, actually fuel price in Malaysia rise more than these countries. Can PM enforced every employer to provide at least 50%increment to each employee???? In addition, public transport in these countries is relatively efficient which is well distribute to all areas and can withstand to accomodate high capacity of passengers. In here, everyday we can see long q waiting for tickets at LRT station and condition in the train especially during peak hours is so sardine packed.

I never agree with this decision. It is not a solution, it is just another burden. I am sorry PM, this is not personally against you, I am just conveying that I, we Malaysian need help.

Upthrust

It has been so long since my last post somewhere in Feb. Ok, admit that am not a loyal blogger but too casual until I may possibly forgot this blog exist under my account.

Ok, I'll do restart.

I just turn a year older 2 days ago. I didn't not feel excited or even feeling special on the date I was born. In fact I was working overtime and it was Sunday. I work the day before as well. Frankly, I'm getting more nervous, worry, fear about life, what will come next, what awaits my future and thinking that up to this date I'm quite far behind to what I have been planning or suppose to achieve should be this time, I freak out. Is that what people called "life transmission phase"? Maybe, no?

I found new job early this year and just join almost three months back. It was like a plot of life that simplify my path of life. Its not only about high career profile that always be in my dream. I can see how opportunity comes into my life so smooth, good opportunity to be certain, really it is where I'm lucky to be helped transparently by god.

I am not a religious person, so-so type but I truely/100%/completely/no doubt believe in HIM and believe everything that happen in the sphere has "HIKMAH". It is certainly has meaning, direction, vector, axis where finally show us the destiny. Of course we have to learn and experience something as input along the journey to destiny so we get firm outcome and understand fluently what is all about. Many dont understand this philosophy including me, sometimes. Initially we will keep questioning "why"this is happening, "why" me and so on, rite? No doubt, we are human being, we always need answer and that is why we are questioning. But just believe, things happen for reason. Always there are consequences appeal after and by interconnecting those, we might get the answer. Life is like puzzle. If it is not, then no such word "effort".

My true story. An example for a real practical picture of what i've jotted.
I just join new company early this year and few weeks after they assigned me to go site visit where before that, a compulsory full medical check up is required to evaluate my health condition whetter I am fit for the visit or otherwise. In general, I am an active type of person, can be considered hyperactive actually, I move a lot, I do sports and really I am outgoing. Else than gastro problem due to bad eating habit, I'm physically fit and can say that my health is considered near perfect. To be continued. (I need to sleep)