After paying big cash, someone remind me again today. Health is wealth. Yes, a must reminder, for someone who always take health for granted.
I can feel that time is speed chasing me, not the opposite way. Eventually nerve system got shaky, stress up my vein in which I think sign me, trigger me, aware me to get certain things done or at least I got all the list written somewhere so I will not miss out any single thing before the "time" touch the end line, a pull stop. Probably, I need to appoint someone either by direct assignation or do indirect will. I guess I need help, I don’t think I can do it all alone if time extremely cruel pinching me off. This is just a preparation, I have faith, I want to strongly believe that my chance to recover is still highly exist and at least my condition is improving so I’ll get better, and live prosperous longer. That's why now I don’t mind paying until the last cents in my pocket if that's the price I need to pay for my breath. There's lot of things I haven't achieve, there's so much mistakes I shall ask for forgiveness, there's uncountable sins I need to neutralize (not sure whether it is possible even I live in 100yrs, hopefully I can closer the gap), can't figure out more details, but my head busy sounding random noise telling I got plenty to work out. Otherwise if Allah says my time is up even all efforts have been released, I’ll "redha" and please do the others that care and love. HE the almighty, Yang Maha Adil, Yang Maha Mengetahui absolutely has HIS right to take me up. I am HIS very poor slave, but I know HE loves everyone HE created, DIA Maha Penyayang. That's the reason I don't blame anyone, anything or question why it happens to me. Simple thought, looking thoroughly at myself, the longer I live, the much I tend to add the ready thick sins.
Every single seconds passing without skipping thinking about die. I read or heard (doesn’t matter, both I confirm from reliable sources) Ustaz says that “mengingati mati itu satu pahala, dan digalakkan”. The reason is, people will not too obsess or being liberal of living in this space, duniawi which many forget that it is just for temporary. I do forget, always. So that’s good. I take it positive, so that I will try not to drift too way far from the right track. Someone generous is welcome to guide me, practically.
Else than my family, those who I commit debt, owe genuine in person sorry wishes or anything I shall pay in whatever terms, please confront me. Before it’s too late, let me settle, worst case I’ll put in a list (I will create one) so I can assign someone to sort it out. And before it’s too late, I seek forgiveness for all that I have done, and whichever you may not exactly recall or uncertain on what and how much I owe, I seek your kindness, minta dihalalkan. Or if not, you may contact the person I assigned, most probably someone from my family members for the settlement.
To my best friends, come on, aku write this bukan nak buat korang risau. But it is just a preparation, actually everyone should do this. I may physically or internally badly ill, but remember, we are rationally aware that everyone that lives, are never certain of when is our departure. We might see someone healthy and active today, but it is not impossible that we might not see that person anymore tomorrow. The person could prompt to fatal road accident, environmental disaster or even as simple as having a tracheal choke when eating. I thank god, at now I am screening myself so I more realize who actually I am, my character, behaviour, and the upside down inconsistent trends. Teruk sangat aku ni. Sunggoh.
Aku insan yang hina disisi-NYA.
Every single seconds passing without skipping thinking about die. I read or heard (doesn’t matter, both I confirm from reliable sources) Ustaz says that “mengingati mati itu satu pahala, dan digalakkan”. The reason is, people will not too obsess or being liberal of living in this space, duniawi which many forget that it is just for temporary. I do forget, always. So that’s good. I take it positive, so that I will try not to drift too way far from the right track. Someone generous is welcome to guide me, practically.
Else than my family, those who I commit debt, owe genuine in person sorry wishes or anything I shall pay in whatever terms, please confront me. Before it’s too late, let me settle, worst case I’ll put in a list (I will create one) so I can assign someone to sort it out. And before it’s too late, I seek forgiveness for all that I have done, and whichever you may not exactly recall or uncertain on what and how much I owe, I seek your kindness, minta dihalalkan. Or if not, you may contact the person I assigned, most probably someone from my family members for the settlement.
To my best friends, come on, aku write this bukan nak buat korang risau. But it is just a preparation, actually everyone should do this. I may physically or internally badly ill, but remember, we are rationally aware that everyone that lives, are never certain of when is our departure. We might see someone healthy and active today, but it is not impossible that we might not see that person anymore tomorrow. The person could prompt to fatal road accident, environmental disaster or even as simple as having a tracheal choke when eating. I thank god, at now I am screening myself so I more realize who actually I am, my character, behaviour, and the upside down inconsistent trends. Teruk sangat aku ni. Sunggoh.
Aku insan yang hina disisi-NYA.
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