Handbook 2009

A colleaque forward me an email today where i cud say she's very sweet to effort that. She's my best person in office where only we both doing the same project so we talk often together. At casual or tense period, we talk mostly about life, anything. She's one of my direct advisor.

Probably she knows I don't really entertain forward e-mails, perhaps she did hear me talking to other colleaques not to forward me those gossips, chain or whatsoever likely emails, but today she forward me one. To know that I'm not doing well in health and appeared so weak at recent condition, this e-mail is an addition on her verse consultation on taking care of myself in overall.

This is not the first time, I read similar contents couple of times, but people like me tends to forget and how grateful I'm to have someone remind me on all these things. Thank you.

So, check this out, food for mind and soul. It's good.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.

6. Play more games.

7. Read more books than you did in 2008.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Owh Lee Fong, Thank you.

Batuk

Cough is severe, I'm seeing dr today. . Tak tahan!!
Uhuk uhuk uhuk

Numb

Unhealthy throughout the week. Today is the worst. I walk like an old grandma. Huu...I don't even reach 30 and I'm like this... Sedih betul.

Its ok, ujian dan takdir...

Mercy

Lying on bed for entire day will never be my choice but sometimes I had to. Today was a boring day, however thanks to Aifa n Salam who paid me a visit this morning. At least it wasn’t that awfully bad. I won't step out of my room until I couldn’t take any longer not having coffee since morning. I went down about 10pm craving a mission of having hot coffee but end up with freezer tin nescafe mocha grabbed. At once, I was about to forward myself to get my coffee at Starbucks (the only place I could get hot coffee at time), when suddenly my head recapped how the Palestinians suffering from Israel crime and picturing the images of children bleeding and shot dead, I could not just simply ignore it, at least I do a little contribution by together boycott US product which is said obviously a funder to the war.

Show our Mercy to Palestine

Hope tomorrow (today) I’m home.
Thanks for those who visiting and worrying me.

Sentimental '09

Coincidently meeting someone familiar and cute but hardly can talk with really a good start for a first working day this year. I was in good shape at the beginning, saw him but pretending I didn’t notice his existence until when we get closer and exchange smile, I became a bit run off the track and start walking like there’s a dog chasing after me. Shuck, what am I doing???? Never mind, my main objective is to come to work so personal life is auto-hidden within the office territory. Hypocrite, do I?? Smile. Who cares!

This newly year, I don’t want to make any certain planning, but thinking that I should give myself chances to let my heart do most of the talking and processing. I will let my life flow naturally, make it more simple. Growing further actually put me in thoughts of shrinking. Back to having significant joint pain today reminds me of shorter life span I do have. Health isn’t going smooth but I’m grateful I’m doing just fine but I realize getting old faster, time moves supersonic, I got too many plans planned in previous years remain unsettle, I don’t grasp any achievement, I have nothing, I’m still less than ordinary and lonely.

After all, I know I am more comfortable in my own loop, being less or too ordinary even not all the time, is what I always wanted to. So long I give away my heart warring with head who always won the battle while the result not always impressive. My brain has often ready with a list of pros and cons, future risk assessment, prejudice, immediate judgement, after all, I get higher statistical frustrations, breakdown my heart follow at the end screwed up my brain too. I have decided, I will just flow myself, free and easy and flexible.

I hear quite loud these days my heart says. I need to put some effort to console my heart. I wish someone who has the right key to unlock my heart come up front, blow away the gloom, bring in happiness shall him shows in charm. I can say it is a little bit hard after years, but do try. I’ll try too. Someone heartless like me needs help in rising soul. Seriously, I want to feel again, to love and love and so love and in love with someone and be so much loved before I sleep.

2009, I’m totally sentimental. No doubt.

LOVE

Recent visit to Terengganu and all the way east coast brought a big shine on my face, again. Since my first step on its land sometimes ago, I have falling, too much in love, I always wanted to be in this place shall I spend the whole day being blow by windy breezy fresh air and carry away with the feelings of carefree, never end freedom. Easy reach in peninsular on my mother’s land, I dream to retire here, live by the beach then build a small bamboo frame shed with dead coconut tree cut as my bench underneath to sit for all time pleasure staring at waves and bubbles that comes and goes, so does listen to whispering coconut leaves.

How wonderful if underneath the shed, I could live the moment with someone I’m in love with, sit together watching the sea, both keep silent and pretend deaf of other noises else than the music of waves, or sometimes do some little soft talking of some little romantic conversations. Believe it or not, being such too close to sandy untouched beaches, I can almost do not know what to do but to give up my brain to my heart to rule everything inside out of me. At times when I witness the sea closely and real, I break my great wall of ego immediately, no idea how and why my eyes could suddenly become watery, melt inside and change to super soft-hearted person such an opposite behaviour I usually pose. But weird, I feel I am really am when I am here, by the beach, at the open sea.

Maybe, I’m not the only one own this feelings or the excitement of having time being blew by the wind heading from the sea, maybe. Know what, I miss the moment each seconds in my life, I always imagine me walking barefoot every single morning, evening or on occasion nights along the beach, moisture my skin with salty water, seriously I don’t mind get mess, I feel I belong here. It is part of my dream too, walking slowly along the shore sides holding hands with my partner, gorgeously lovely, so beautiful and blissful. I want to share this adorable moments with my love who passionately in love with me. I wish it will fond to happen someday, after years and years heartless.

Happy happy happy!!

Oh God, I’m terribly missing the moments. My heart isn’t here.

Tahun Baru

Hari ni awal muharam 1430
Lusa tahun baru 2009
Kejap sungguh masa berlalu
Aku tak berubah
Tetap seorang insan yang hina disi-Nya

Dengan kehinaan ini
Minta diberkati hidup aku untuk tahun-tahun yang hadapan
Mohon diberi nafas panjang sihat nurani, rohani dan jasmani aku
Belas kasih yang tak terhingga dengan kurnian rezeki yang melimpah
Ditatang bahagia bersama insan tersayang

Biar begini
Aku rela terus hina dalam keredhaan-MU

P/s: Selamat Tahun Baru

Menggapai Bintang

Aku tau

Aku ni ibarat sebutir pasir di tanah gersang

Dan aku tau, aku tak semestinya terbiar

Cuma aku perlu berusaha

Untuk dibawa jauh

Maka jangan perlekehkan aku

Sementelah rupa aku yang amat biasa ini

Juga jangan senyum sinis kearah aku

Ketika aku bertangan kosong papa kedana

Sbb aku tetap akan pergi

Menggapai bintang yang aku idamkan

Impian aku

Adam the First

Huge congratulation to my dear love best friend CNOL & GAFA for having their first precious baby, MOHD ADAM IMRAN. Prosperity for all, may Allah bless.

Baby adam with Auntie2..

US

Weekdays - keje
Weekends - keje
But sesekali steal time spend with friends, penat pun hilang
Sgt suka, being with best friends
Who is already/soon/will tie the knot, lets keep the relation blossom
Bring your partner, make us bigger
Cheers!!!

Photo Credit: Gafa

Photo Credit: Cnol

Photo Credit: Junedy

Cinta untuk Abah

Hari ni hari bersejarah. Abah dah pergi genap 10 tahun. Selalunya aku yg bg reminder pada family aku, but hari ni, tahun ni, aku terlupa sekejap. Elo text me this morning while i was driving to work. Remind sedekahkan Al-Fatihah buat abah. Sepuluh tahun dah, tapi aku tetap sebak masa dapat msg tu. Hari ni pada sepuluh tahun dulu, aku and adik beradik yg lain sama-sama meratap hiba pemergian abah. Yg lelaki yang aku tak pernah tgk nangis pun nangis. Tak bermaksud nak menyiksa roh abah, tp tak sanggup betul terima pemergian abah yg dirasakan terlalu awal masa tu. Aku mmg tak tak pernah terfikir akan kehilangan abah seawal tu and tak pernah langsung bersedia. Takpelah, Allah lebih sayangkan abah.

10 tahun tu jangka masa yang lama. Tapi mmg tak rasa pun, serius aku tak rasa abah pergi selama tu. Serius jugak, aku cuma rasa yang aku lama tak jumpe abah mcm aku lama tak balik kg, yang balik time raya or during special event je. So bile trigger balik yg abah dah kembali ke-rahmatullah, mmg sebak. Aku masih ingat port abah selalu lepak kat umah tu. Kerusi malas dia elok je lagi parking kat balcony. Terbayang2 dulu masa dia tgh duduk, aku sibuk-sibuk sorong tarik compartment laydown kaki tu.

Paling aku suka abah gosok-gosok kepala aku. Sampai aku dah besar pun dia buat. Suka sbb macam secure, rasa dikasihi, sampai skang kalau org gosok kepala aku mcm abah gosok, mmg aku suka. Tapi sapa nak buat? Haih...

Lagi, abah tak byk cakap. Tak suka ulang cakap. Jarang sgt2 marah. Jarang sgt2 dengar dia tinggikan suara. Tapi sekali dia marah, even suara tak tinggi, terus kecut perut. Tgk mata dia je dah cukup. Kuyu, tapi tajam tu. Huih. Yang pasti abah mmg superkewl. Sempoi, macam aku. Eheh.

Yang pasti,

Aku masih ingat suara abah.

Aku masih ingat rasa tangan dia.

Aku masih ingat bau badan dia.

Aku masih ingat pandangan mata dia.

Aku masih ingat kata-kata dia.

Aku masih ingat seluruh wajah dia even aku tak simpan satu pun gambar abah.

Inilah yang dikatakan cinta.

Aku nak jatuh cinta macam aku cinta kat abah, cinta sejati yang buat aku ingat segalanya tentang dia sampai aku mati.

Al-Fatihah buat abah.

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dikalangan orang yang beriman.

Amin.

Love to Death

These turkey couple walking so romantic from my neighbour house to my mum's yard. When I tried to get close, they wont run, there were just moving in poise, spinning their body side by side. Sometimes they make sound, like a music with decline tone. Initially loud then slowly turn down with a unique rythm. Interesting. But, what attract me most was their passion towards each other. They shows mutual love. They were. They still are i guess..

Then tomorrow was fatal for a dog. Second day at home, my brother make jokes telling that my mum now keeping dogs at home since we could see couple of dogs come and go in my mum's land since we came back. The last day at home, a day after the turkeys show off, I saw a dog, having a good time laying underneath hanging cloth. I shouted and spell some bad words at him so they would walk away. Seconds later, that dog died. I felt guilty since i was the one who communicate right before he was hit by a car, exactly in front of the entrance.

I learn something here. Sometimes mulut aku ni mmg masin.

So aku akan kurangkan bercakap perkara-perkara tak baik

And I really get a lesson here.

Jodoh, maut ditangan tuhan.

The truth of life - REVEALED

This age

Tho not too long

I fold thick life plots

Where would i unfold it one day

Spell the story to my kids or whoever

Not much, hope they may still learn from the lesson

Today

Son of Abdullah is said having a baby

Deliver by an old close-friend of mine

The baby who carry a story of all of us

Shower him with love

He carry no mistake

I forget all

I am happy

Fair enuf

-Allah itu MAHA adil-

Always good

It's always good to dream

It's always good to visualize

It's always good to aim high

It's always good to look forward

It's always good to be challenged

It's always good to explore

It's always good to try

Lets always be inspired

For the greatest achievements

10 things about her

Do u know, a happy-go-lucky, a happy-always, an independent-acting person is...

1) a great pretender

2) feel unsecure all the time

3) afraid of now n then life

4) a secretive person, about her personal

5) always has thought - it would be soooo damn good to have someone to rely on

6) hard to trust people even to the closest..so almost no one..or could be no one at all

7) an ego, very (of course, she is a great pretender)

8) always feel empty

9) an extreme, no intermediate

10) SUPER SENSITIVE (but she is a great pretender, hard to know)

It's partly revealed.

Pls give me bright lights...I ask HIM.

Wish

If life can circulate in order how blood circulation works systematically in one's normal healthy body, life will be running incredibly smooth. That is just a simple theorem. But, it's for sure unreal, there's no way to live an immaculate life, it isn't normal. Life consists spices, variety of tastes that everyone has to taste regardless those things are something we would wish nor something that we forcely trying to escape. Frankly, I'm not living a dream life. Far way not. Some says, we will not always get what we wanted, but we will get something otherwise. It's truly apply and ramp up my flow of life, i could realize that. Then from there I learn slowly to how to be grateful at least for every breath I inhale. Spirit encouraged from the feeling of gratitudeness and an appreciation of the gifts of HIS generousity, move me forward, not to just wish an empty dream, but endeavour me efforts to achieve the wishes that I dream to be real. It means I may complete all the tastes to pleasure a great appreciation towards what I work on. I wish, hope, work, pray and achieve. Compose togetther is all the six senses. 5 plus an X factor. Life then will be truly a bliss. Each pain will dismiss or just sway without a farewell. I truly believe....at the end...life will be happy. I dont need a perfect life, i just wish to be "COMPLETE".

To those I hurt, I'm sorry.

To those who hurt me..It's not ok, but i'll be fine.

That is life.

Si sepi yang kosong mencari HIKMAH

Kenapa aku dilahirkan malam, dikala gelap

Mungkin membiasakan aku dalam kegelapan supaya aku berani menghadapi dugaan pahit

Mungkin buat aku lebih gigih mengharungi hidup dan meninggalkan kekecewaan

Mungkin menjadikan aku lebih bersedia menghadapi rintangan mendatang tanpa takut

Kenapa aku tak dilahirkan kaya raya

Mungkin jikalau aku kaya, aku jadi orang yang terlalu bergantung dan malas berusaha

Mungkin aku akan tergolong dikalangan orang yang riak dan membangga-bangga

Mungkin aku sombong langsung tidak mahu mendekati orang2 miskin sedangka taraf mereka sama dgn aku disisi yang MAHA ESA

Mungkin aku akan alpa dengan kemewahan yang menyesatkan aku jauh dari landasan

Mungkin aku akan terlalu membazir-bazir dan tidak bersyukur hingga lupa ade ramai manusia yang tak makan berhari-hari

Kenapa aku tidak cantik jelita rupawan (mcm angelina jolie for e.g.)

Mungkin aku akan menggunakan kecantikan aku pda jalan yang mungkar

Mungkin aku akan jadi insan yang bermegah-megah dan menunjuk-nunjuk dgn keindahan sementara

Mungkin aku akan jadi insan penggoda lelaki-lelaki bernafsu yang memudaratkan aku diakhirnya

Maka selamatlah aku

Banyak lagi persoalan "KENAPA"

Kini aku yakin akan jawapannye

Disimpulkan dengan kata "HIKMAH"

Dengan Hikmah-Nya, aku menyusuri hidup ni dengan keyakinan

Bimbinglah aku terus.

Brilliant Malay-Chinese Poem

Smart, was it dedicated directly to the staff or indirectly to those who realized the existence, I dont know. But i found it so tremendous in conveying spontaneous so-mean-message. Look at this..

This paper was posted on the wall, a spare part retail shop i visited regular. Maybe i was busy choosing all right items i should buy or chatting with the tokey who make fun like we are good friends since born. Nice talking.

I was pretty surprised why i didnt realize earlier, this is a piece of motivation, a good principle which has an intensity to driven a desire to be a successful person. Interesting! Inspiring to fight in a battle, life competitions.

Like "nyamuk" so much, and cannot tahan "baik mati", the best!! Hehehehe

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

So long...

Pure Divine - incubator room, SJMC

Ramadhan, the holy month full with barakah gather gracefully all muslims without self hesitation to serve and be so close to Allah. This is the month where i can see clearly, and deeply realize how exponential micro i am in this world which is belong to HIM.

I wish i can be a newborn baby again. I wish i could sink in the high concentration of soap water and rinse to be again like a clean white plain new cloth...and i wish i could maintain myself to remain as it is..avoid any sins..but how could it be possible. I'm.....less than ordinary human being. Human being make mistakes..

Betapa insaf di bulan mulia ni.

Alangkah indah jika bulan2 seterusnye tetap kekal ramadhan.

Sungguh mulia menjadi manusia yg sentiasa mengingati kejadiannye

Dan sungguh hina manusia yang lupa pada Pencipta-NYA.

Ya Allah...Rahmatilah aku.

Health is Wealth

After paying big cash, someone remind me again today. Health is wealth. Yes, a must reminder, for someone who always take health for granted.

I can feel that time is speed chasing me, not the opposite way. Eventually nerve system got shaky, stress up my vein in which I think sign me, trigger me, aware me to get certain things done or at least I got all the list written somewhere so I will not miss out any single thing before the "time" touch the end line, a pull stop. Probably, I need to appoint someone either by direct assignation or do indirect will. I guess I need help, I don’t think I can do it all alone if time extremely cruel pinching me off. This is just a preparation, I have faith, I want to strongly believe that my chance to recover is still highly exist and at least my condition is improving so I’ll get better, and live prosperous longer. That's why now I don’t mind paying until the last cents in my pocket if that's the price I need to pay for my breath. There's lot of things I haven't achieve, there's so much mistakes I shall ask for forgiveness, there's uncountable sins I need to neutralize (not sure whether it is possible even I live in 100yrs, hopefully I can closer the gap), can't figure out more details, but my head busy sounding random noise telling I got plenty to work out. Otherwise if Allah says my time is up even all efforts have been released, I’ll "redha" and please do the others that care and love. HE the almighty, Yang Maha Adil, Yang Maha Mengetahui absolutely has HIS right to take me up. I am HIS very poor slave, but I know HE loves everyone HE created, DIA Maha Penyayang. That's the reason I don't blame anyone, anything or question why it happens to me. Simple thought, looking thoroughly at myself, the longer I live, the much I tend to add the ready thick sins.

Every single seconds passing without skipping thinking about die. I read or heard (doesn’t matter, both I confirm from reliable sources) Ustaz says that “mengingati mati itu satu pahala, dan digalakkan”. The reason is, people will not too obsess or being liberal of living in this space, duniawi which many forget that it is just for temporary. I do forget, always. So that’s good. I take it positive, so that I will try not to drift too way far from the right track. Someone generous is welcome to guide me, practically.

Else than my family, those who I commit debt, owe genuine in person sorry wishes or anything I shall pay in whatever terms, please confront me. Before it’s too late, let me settle, worst case I’ll put in a list (I will create one) so I can assign someone to sort it out. And before it’s too late, I seek forgiveness for all that I have done, and whichever you may not exactly recall or uncertain on what and how much I owe, I seek your kindness, minta dihalalkan. Or if not, you may contact the person I assigned, most probably someone from my family members for the settlement.

To my best friends, come on, aku write this bukan nak buat korang risau. But it is just a preparation, actually everyone should do this. I may physically or internally badly ill, but remember, we are rationally aware that everyone that lives, are never certain of when is our departure. We might see someone healthy and active today, but it is not impossible that we might not see that person anymore tomorrow. The person could prompt to fatal road accident, environmental disaster or even as simple as having a tracheal choke when eating. I thank god, at now I am screening myself so I more realize who actually I am, my character, behaviour, and the upside down inconsistent trends. Teruk sangat aku ni. Sunggoh.

Aku insan yang hina disisi-NYA.